Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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