Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize