I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
