from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
