Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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