So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
