My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
