we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
