i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
