Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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