She's JV to your varsity
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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