is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
