We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
