once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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