Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
