Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
