There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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