I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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