If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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