I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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