she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
