Me too!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
