Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
