I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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