Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
