You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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