im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Randomize
