I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
