i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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