tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
