then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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