i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize