I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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