Just fell off a train. Bad.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
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