So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize