recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize