i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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