thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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