i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
