well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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