Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
did i walk over a car last night?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize