I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
