Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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