I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
smell my finger.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize