i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My Sexting was not on an AP level
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
