Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
