Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
