My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
