The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Im part way to drunk.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
