Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
