You smell like a Billy Joel song
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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