you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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