Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
