I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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