so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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