After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
