Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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