she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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