Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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