I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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