I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
