It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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