he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
