You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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