addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
They took my balls.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
