she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
