he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
