You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
